And ive been too lazy to log in and write about my bullshitt.
well wesley is probably the sweetest boy ive ever had and i cant believe im going to mess this up. God. Why am i so fucked up. Ruining my chances with a perfect boy on purpose. Great.
I kinda a little like him but i dont want to really. I just want someone to mess around with. Like. I dont know. I just want to be alone. I cant start getting attached to you if youre leaving august 16th. I dont know how i can get soo attached to you then youleave to boot camp for three months, come back for ten days, then youre gone again in pensacola with the marines. I wont see you as much as id like to. I dont think i could do that. I think its so awesome youre going into the marines, im so happy for you. But i dont think i could be that girl that waits and waits for months until you could come home and see me every weekend and thatd still be straining seeing as ill still be in high school and youll be tired of driving every weekend. I dont want to do this to either of us. I just dont know how to tell you.
Somebody that i used to know.
except im not sad. Im actually unearthly happy. I told logan i felt like kissing him on friday and i should have because he said he wanted to too but didn tknow if i felt the same. Ahh.
Ohh well. There will be more chances.
Also i miss james, hes seriously my bestfriend. I tell him everything and he makes me feel so great. I dont like him at all more than a friend, hes like a brother and i love this.
I havent had that piece of shit on my mind at all lately. I think its funny though, him as a person is just a hilarious joke. And his dads smirk at me when we walked past each other at publix, i dont know if he realized who i was or not but fuck him dude. Brandon, if you havent realized what i couldve given you in life already, then good luck dealing with the regret in a year when youre alone.
im notngoing to dwell on that loser though. I just find it so funny that i know how things are going to turn out and im glad i got rid of him and his baggage before it ruined my future.
Im never mad or sad about you anymore. I actually think its funny. Well youre just a joke. Honestly why did i waste three years on such a loser? Who knows. To whoever ends up with you in the end, im soo sorry you didnt see it coming.
By the motherfuckin way, all the thing hes saying to you now , remember that he said it all to me first. Ahahaha.
Alright so im just angry all the time and i want to punch everyone and yell all the time. I really dont have any friends. Whatever.
“You can say that you never loved me as many times as you want, but i think me never spending another minute loving you is something to be more proud of.”
That was something i said that im so glad i did. That was the best thing ive ever thought of and felt. You were an absolute waste of years of my life. I wouldve rather spent them alone than with you. Im so much better now.
Fuck you. I knew you said the same shit to everyone. Fuck you. Youre fucking disgusting and pathetic the way you play with people like that.
Secondly, that text telling you never to talk to me again, please comply. And the sarcastic have an awesome life and thanks for everything wasnt necessary but whatever.
And lastly, i read something totally worthwhile to listen to: “If you dont laugh at a joke after youve heard it plenty of times, then why should you cry repeatedly about the same thing?”
Exactly. No more crying for me.
I hope so.
I hope you understand what youre losing. You probably dont.
just know that ive always cared. Even if you didnt realize it. I have always cared. Every minute of the past few years i have cared about you and everything in your life that i knew about.
And now youre losing one person who understands you, who knows almost everything about you, and who has always cared even when you havent returned that feeling to her.
Im not going to defend you in this one and blame myself for somethings because ive always tried my best to fix things and ill always tell myself that. I guess fate wasnt meant to go my way. Its probably best though. Maybe losing me will be the best thing youve ever done. I really hope that its worth it to you to do this to me.
Unless you can prove that youve changed back into that caring, genuinely sweet guy, dont come back to me when you miss me. You were never meant to be a detriment to my being, how even did that happen?
